How To Deal With People That Have Experienced Trauma

Experiencing trauma can change a person so much that they become unaware of how their actions effect others. The unawareness is almost never malicious however it is often taken that way. A life changing experience that results in the loss of a loved one or several close people can also create more long term feelings of sensitivity. This can come out in many forms. It can come out in anger, depression, addictions, pushing good people away and more. 

What is the best way to help someone who has experienced trauma? 

Being nurturing towards that person regardless of how they are acting or have done in the past is a start. You can't be overbearing though, you have to show small signs of nurturing and build it up. Building up trust will help their walls slowly come down. Getting them into counseling and maybe meditation will introduce them into different ways of looking at situations. This could help them sort through some of what they experienced and come to peace with it all. During this process, do not put yourself in a position where you are enabling addictive behavior or in harms way. Go into it with a good head on your shoulders and good intentions. Expect to experience disappointment during this process and don't let it discourage you.

It is important to note that acting nurturing towards someone who doesn't want it or someone who doesn't deserve it is challenging.  

Someone who does not want to be nurtured is generally angry and irritable.

It is always best to respect their space and become someone who adds something positive to their life. It can be something as simple as "the joke of the day" or asking them to help you fix something that is easy for them to fix. When its over the other person could feel a little sense of accomplishment and purpose. Since each person is unique use the creative juices in your brain to figure out what little task you could do to add a little joy to their life.

Sometimes the people that need nurturing the most are the hardest people to give it to. 

Spreading love and peace is one of the most important things that we can do while here on earth, even to the people who say they do not want it. Most importantly, spreading love to people who don't deserve it is one of the best things that you can do for yourself.

Love thy enemy. They are your enemy because they did something bad to you. Probably something malicious. Love them because they do not have the experience and knowledge that was needed to deal with things differently. Knowledge is a gift. If you possess the knowledge that allows you to love someone that did something horrible to you then use that knowledge and love your enemy.

The Importance of Being Present in Our Own Lives

No doubt that living day to day can be rough. In fact it can be so rough that anxiety causes us to form self destructive habits. It can be as simple as overeating, smoking, drinking and taking drugs. Often it starts with something little such as overeating or smoking cigarettes that leads to more destructive habits like smoking pot or drinking everyday to be able to deal with life situations or to relax. People that take up these habits are not bad people. Most of them do not realize that these substances take away from us being present in our own lives. What does that mean exactlty?

Being present in our own life is when we are sober, healthy and aware of our surroundings. Taking a walk with your dog and enjoying the breeze that flows around you is being present. Watching kids play baseball and really taking in the moment is being present. Noticing and appreciating all of the little things that God has created for us is being present in our own lives. Having that moment of reflection that brings an amazing rush of happiness and joy to our lives is being present.

When people form addictions they become less and less present in their own lives. A good example of this is the tv show "Intervention". Almost every addict started using due to feelings of depression or anxiety. Maybe something tragic happened to them that hurt them deeply. Everyone's stories are unique and valid. Recognizing these feelings and correcting the behavior is challenging. Most of the time addicts hit rock bottom and are forced into rehab in some way. They do not go unless it is the absolute last choice.

For those who have mild addictions and are aware enough to recognize them, getting help is like standing up and screaming "God loves me and wants me to love me too." Loving ourselves is one of the hardest things that we will ever have to do. Taking care of our bodies is loving ourselves. Being present in our life is loving ourselves. Being able to help other people because we love ourselves is loving ourselves.

God sent us here to be present in our lives. Being present is not always easy. In fact, it can be one of the hardest things that we will ever have to do. Nothing good is easy. So many people are not present in their lives and miss signs that God sends us. Watch the signs and notice them. They will never be bad signs and will come at the right time. We are showing our love for God when we become present in our own lives. Acknowledge His love for us by being present and able to help others spread the good message of love.

Watch for Signs that God Gives Us

After reading numerous books about people having near death experiences there are many common elements in their stories. Many claim to have had a life review. A life review is given to some people who go to the other side and come back to talk about it. Apparently it sounds like it is something that is given to us upon death. It is when we are shown our whole lives on something similar to a tv screen. We watch our whole lives over from start to finish.

What is interesting about this is that while we are watching our lives in a life review we are able to feel what other people felt during our lifetime. We see how our actions effected others and are shown the ripple effect. When we do something good for someone, that person is more likely to help someone else in need because they were helped. The ripple effect can go far beyond what we ever imagined while we were here on earth. When we do something bad, the effects of that action is shown in the ripple effect and we feel the pain that it caused other people.

In the book "Saved by the Light" written by Dannion Brinkley life reviews are talked about in great detail. Dannion was struck by lightening and went to the other side. He served in the military for many years and during that time he killed many people in war. It was his job and he thought that he was doing the right thing by serving his country. His intentions were good but his actions were not. During his life review he has to experience the effects that he had on his victims and their family members when they experienced the loss of a loved one. His life review was not one that he was proud of when it was over.

Dannion's life review caused him to look at the world in a different way. He was not a bad person and did not have bad intentions, however he did bring about pain to many people. This changed him when he was sent back to his body to recover from his injuries. Dannion changed his life around completely and now is very aware of his ripple effect. He does everything that he can to change the course of his life and do as many good things as possible so that when he has his next life review it is a more pleasant experience.

Due to the popularity of the internet and being able to spread more information quickly, more and more people are aware that when they die they will have a life review. A great example of this is in a hit TV show called "My Name is Earl". In an episode called the "Boogyman" that aired for season one Earl is still trying to turn his life around by making things right again with anyone that he ever did anything bad to. He helps a young boy overcome his fear of the dark. During a conversation with this boy he tells him that when we pass on we get to watch our whole life on tv...so make it a good show and do good things for people. This is a prime example of the little signs that God gives us to remind us that we all need to get on a better path in our lives. 

We all need to be aware of our ripple effect and what direction it will go in. Keep sending out that positive energy into the world and you will get it back!

The Ripple Effect

Ripple Effect

Everything that we do has consequences. This is common knowledge. What most people do not know is how far our ripple effect goes. What is a ripple effect? A ripple effect is when you do something either good or bad and it causes other people to do the same. One good deed done for a stranger can continue to be paid forward farther than anyone can ever imagine.

My personal experience of a ripple effect starts with a man who returned my wallet when it fell out of my pocket while shopping at Menards. I was in a rush and was carrying a few large items to my car when I did not realize that my wallet fell out of my pocket in the parking lot. It contained over $700 in cash. I was on my way to the bank when I realized that it was missing. I panicked and started looking through my car. When I could not find it I went back to Menards praying that someone would return it if I lost it there.

When I got to Menards I went to the service desk and asked if anyone found a wallet. They asked me my name and said that some man came in and found a wallet in the parking lot. I was relieved. Truthfully, I figured the money would be gone but there were things in my wallet that I could not replace which were more important. I was told by the service desk that the man refused to leave the wallet with them because it contained a lot of money. They told me that he was going to return it to the address on my license which was my brother's house in the next town over. I never updated my license when I moved out. I thanked them and ran to my car.

I was speeding to my brother's house hoping to meet this man to thank him when my brother called me and asked if I lost something. The man was at his house returning my wallet. I spoke with him on the phone and thanked him profusely. I offered him money for returning my wallet. All the man said to me was to pay it forward and that he would not accept any reward money. When I got to my brother's house the man was gone and I never met him. My brother said he seemed like a very nice man and made fun of me for losing my wallet...again (yes I have a problem with that).

So how did I pay it forward? A few months later I won a storage auction that contained items from a doctor's office. Apparently the previous owner was a plastic surgeon who got into a car accident and had to close his practice down for a few months while he recovered. He fell upon hard times and lost everything. I contacted the good doctor and gave him his medical records back, his diplomas and some personal items. He was amazed that someone cared enough to seek him out to return those important items. I ended up cutting him a good deal on buying some of his books back and other items that he did not want to lose. I even stored them for a few months so that he could get himself together financially to be able to purchase these items back. I was not able to give him everything free because I had money invested, but I made it easy for him to have the opportunity to get back the things that mattered most to him. He was beyond appreciative.

I think about the man that returned my wallet and how he went out of his way to make sure that I received everything back that I needed. In return I did the same for someone else and told the good doctor to pay it forward. Doctors have the ability to help people in a way that not everyone can. I sincerely hope that he remembers me and does something amazing for someone else.

The ripple effect of the man who returned my wallet could have a long reach. When we pass away we will be able to see our ripple effect and how far it really extends. Remember that when you have the opportunity to do something good or help someone. Sometimes it can be very inconvenient to help someone, but it is worth it! Keep your ripple effect going now!

Embraced by the Light

Embraced by the Light

There are no coincidences. We are guided by God and when he wants us to see something he will show us. This happened to me when I came across a book entitled "Embraced by the Light" by Betty Edie. Again, I was bored at the flea market and picked up another book. It was about a woman in the late 1970's who had a successful surgery and then died in her sleep later that day when she was alone in the hospital. She went to Heaven, received a "tour" and came back to tell her story.

Betty Edie's journey to Heaven is by far the most touching story that I have ever heard about in my life. If I could meet one person in this world I would probably choose Betty just because of how inspirational she is. I have never read about a near death experience (NDE) that was so detailed.

Betty went to Heaven and met with Jesus and he answered all of her questions. She asked things like "Why do bad things happen to good people?" The answer to this sent chills down my spine. An example that was given to her from Jesus was about a young man in his 20's who was killed by being hit by a bus. His family was devastated  and did not understand why that had to happen to him. What Jesus said was that before we are born we decide how we are going to die. Some of us decide to sacrifice ourselves early and in tragic accidents to help others and spread the message of love. If the bus driver that hit the young man hadn't killed him on accident then he would not be in jail. If he was not in jail he would have gotten into an even worse accident the following week killing many more people. In essence, this young man decided before he was born that he was going to sacrifice himself early to save other people. This helps the young man become closer to Jesus and spread the message of love.

God works in his own ways and what may seem tragic can actually be something positive. God loves us and is ultimately in control. Fears, worries and anxiety should all be given to God because he will always take care of us in the way that we need it.

Another thing Betty Edie experienced when she was on the other side was her ability to visit anyone that she wanted who was living. She was able to stop in at her home where her husband and children were. They could not see her but she could see them. This goes to show you that our loved ones are always with us and can visit us whenever we want them to. If you talk to them out loud they will be there to hear you. You may not be able to hear them but they can see and hear you. 

Spread the message of love now by visiting Betty's website www.EmbracedbytheLight.com

What is a Church? 90 Minutes in Heaven

The old saying "everything happens for a reason" is a phrase that we have all heard before. When we hear something over and over the principal of the message can easily get lost. The reason that this blog has officially started is because everything happens for a reason. Let me explain.

I am an amateur web designer who struggles every month financially. I also buy and sell delinquent storage auction items online and at flea markets. While I rented a booth at a local indoor flea market over the winter I noticed that not many people were walking through the doors. I have not read a book other than a web design book for school in years and decided to read one to kill some time when no customers were coming to my booth. Across the way there was a vendor that had thousands of books to choose from. I am not one for romance novels or fiction novels for that matter as I love to learn new things when I take the time to read so I picked up a book that caught my eye entitled "90 Minutes in Heaven" by Don Piper.

The book was about a pastor that got into a bad car accident. He died, went to Heaven for 90 minutes and came back to tell his story. You would think that being in Heaven for 90 minutes is a long time, however it was not. Don was greeted at the gates of Heaven with angels singing all types of songs simultaneously. He saw relatives that have passed over and they were very excited to see him. He received messages of love and how important it is to spread unconditional love to everyone around us. Don was sent back into his body for a long recovery and now speaks regularly about his experience in Heaven and spreads the message of love to many.With Don already being a Pastor, he has been able to inspire thousands of people with his story of how wonderful Heaven really is and how the other side is truly amazing. His book inspired my personal interest in the afterlife and helped me become closer to God by spreading the message of love.

When people ask "What is a church?" The answer is simple. A church is a place of worship, a place for the community to come together and praise the good Lord. A church can come in all different forms. You do not necessarily have to have a building in order to organize a church or have a church setting. A church means spreading community and love to everyone and those in need. Spreading the message of love...even to those that many not deserve it is spreading the principals of the church, or what God would want us to do.